Sometimes it seems like one of the major effects of the feminist revolution was to put pressure on women to do and be everything, to demand perfection and 100% effort not just in the home but also in the workplace.
But at the same time, I sometimes wish things were different - that I could choose to stay home with my children and teach them myself without feeling or being told that I was putting unfair pressure on my husband by not working outside the home, or that I could work part time to his full time and be able to make and maintain the home as a place of love, order, and wonder. I mean, at this point in my life it really doesn't matter because I don't have kids and I love working full time! But someday we'll have to make a decision about children and careers and I'll have to give something up.
The myth of modern life, which I think is pushed especially at women since the feminist movement, is that you can do everything and have it all. I grew up never thinking about whether I'd rather be primarily a mother and homemaker or primarily a career woman - I just planned for both and figured I'd do it all! But now that I'm older and (hopefully!) wiser I'm realizing that it just isn't possible. To really have a great career in my field would mean I would have to lose so many of the irreplaceable, magic moments of seeing my children grow and blossom. But if I didn't work outside the home at all, I would miss it a lot. I love science. I love biology, I love research, I love programming, I love analysis and modeling and hypothesizing and learning, and I don't want to lose that! Also, I really do feel like it would put a lot of pressure on my husband, and I don't want him to have to feel like the financial security of the whole family is resting entirely on his shoulders.
So, I'm very glad I don't have to decide this all right now! Unless rather significant unplanned events occur, I've got a few years to think about it before the issue presents itself. I guess I'm just a worrier sometimes :P But what do you think? Do you women feel that pressure as well, or is it just me? Where do you find the balance lies in your life and personal circumstances?
Yes a thousand times. Sometimes I just get so angry at "feminist" texts that seem to say that not only should women today be able to have and do it all, but that we should WANT to. I absolutely do not buy into that notion of feminism, but rather I like to believe that what the feminist movement has done for women has given the option to do it all and the freedom to choose which we want.
ReplyDeleteMost importantly, though, is that God gives us the freedom to do it all too, and rejoices when we choose our strengths and work out our weaknesses.
On a side note, I really enjoy reading Apracticalwedding.com and find that the majority of the women on there, however free thinking they are, all end up saying "I choose to do what is right for me and my husband and our new baby family." It is a wonderful, affirming place to read about the transition into married life, the struggles we're not alone in, and the support strong women can offer.