A dangerous worldview

I read an article today about Michele Bachmann, from the New Yorker (hat tip Mere Comments); it was interesting. I don't really know what I think about Bachmann as a political candidate, but that article really made me think. The author was quite obviously not impressed with Bachmann, or rather, quite obviously hoping she wouldn't win and doing everything in his power to give her a negative slant while appearing open and unbiased. Anyway, I think my favorite aspect of the article was the way in which he alternately tried to make her appear laughable or dangerous for having a Christian worldview rather than a merely religious and personal Christianity. So many people who claim to be Christian are only so in a very private way, and act like everybody else on the outside - even when we don't agree with things like abortion, same-sex marriage, pornography, evolution, government welfare, the anti-family bias of schools and society, no-fault divorce, and so on (whatever we think the Bible disapproves of), we try to stay quiet about it so that we aren't laughed at or so that we don't offend those who have no problem with these things. Even when we feel very strongly about the importance and value of things like the family, the home, the Bible, church, truth, global missions, adoption, and even when we think there are better and more Biblically sound (and thus more true to reality) ways of dealing with poverty and broken lives, we stay quiet about it because it is uncomfortable to be vocal for our beliefs when people have already decided they're wrong or foolish. I personally am very prone to this kind of timidity...

Bachmann, apparently, is not so very timid. It seems that in every area of life, both personally and in the public political realm, she has formulated her views based on her faith. Honestly I think that is how it should be. What one believes about the world - about the nature of man, the existence and nature of God, and so on - should fundamentally affect the way one thinks about all the issues that come up in life. If you believe that there is a God, who designed men and women physically and emotionally for each other in the institution of marriage, for example, then you're going to be against homosexual relationships, especially when they're given the name of marriage. (If you also believe that we are all sinners before God and that you are just as much in need of grace as anyone else, the way you express that opposition will be very different than if you are self-righteous and proud.) Similarly, if you believe that there is no God and that moral standards should be created and dictated by society, holding fast to such concepts as autonomy, solidarity, and beneficence, you won't see homosexuality as an issue at all, but rather as something to fight for, so that these people can fulfill their desires just as easily as you can fulfill your desires. Obviously there's way more to say on both sides of that issue; I'm just using it as an example of how one's worldview does and ought to influence their position on current issues.

In addition, if you have one worldview, and someone else has another, it is very likely indeed that you will perceive them as dangerous and threatening, and attempt to discredit them in some way so that their worldview will be discredited by association. This was in large part behind the birth certificate controversy of Obama's presidency, I think - people felt threatened by this man whose worldview was so very different from theirs, and who did not pretend that he wasn't going to make choices based on that worldview, so they tried to discredit him. The author of the New Yorker article is attempting to do the same thing to Bachmann. I wonder if she counts it as an honor, to be mocked because she is considered a threat on behalf of her belief in Christ. It is an honor I think I would like to have... it's this timidity in my personality that keeps getting in the way.

Risking the leap

Sometimes life seems like a wager. We don't know anything with certainty, and yet we constantly have to make choices about out thoughts, actions, and beliefs. We can amass piles of arguments and evidence to support what we say we believe, but our verbalized creed doesn't always match what we really believe in our hearts about things like who we are and how the world works and whether or not there is a god. It is tempting sometimes to give up and just live life however we feel fit at the moment, because we can never really know for sure what's right anyways - but on the other hand, we tell ourselves, we only get one life, so we don't really want to waste it. It can be stressful to deeply want to know what reality truly is and how we ought to live in it and to be faced with the realization that there is no way for us to know these things beyond a shadow of a doubt.

But you know what my answer is, to the doubts and the shadows and the uncertainties? Bring it on!

I'll take the dare.

I'll risk the leap.

I'll chance the odds.

Part of the thrill of living lies in the seeking for truth, and part of the excitement of loving lies in the striving for knowledge. This life is about yearning and questioning, seeking and asking and searching. Even in our relationships with other people there is no way to fully know the other person and no certainty that what we think we know is true - but part of the joy in loving them comes from getting to know them more deeply and truly. So with the philosophical and theological questions of life: there is no way to fully understand the world and God and humanity and all the countless aspects of how all things work individually and relationally, and there is no certainty that what we think we know is true - but part of the joy of living and asking questions comes from ever discovering more and more about the truth.

Wait, it's ok to feel?

Have you ever thought that emotion was sinful, or at least an irrelevant distraction from the important and significant things in life like love and faith and truth? I've always tried not to feel intense emotion about things, or at least to hide it if I couldn't help feeling it, because it always seems to get me in trouble! I've hurt so many people, including myself, with the anger that I feel; I've lost time and energy and been oblivious to the needs and joys of those I love because of the sorrow I feel; and I've alienated people and received their disapproval by expressing the crazy happiness and love I feel. It seems like I get a lot more approval from other people if I don't express or feel emotions, especially strong emotions. But then what do I do when I feel them? I can't be the only one who feels things so strongly that I sometimes think I might burst if I don't express it!

Most of the time, I show a little bit of my emotion and hide all the rest inside until a time when I'm alone or with people I'm more comfortable with, like my husband, and then let it all out. This is fun when it's a "positive" emotion like happiness or love, but can be really hurtful when it's a "negative" emotion like anger or sadness. I've lashed out at the people close to me undeservedly so many times in life, because I needed an outlet for the anger that I'd originally repressed. Is there a better way to deal with it than this? Stuffing it all in a bottle can't be the best solution when the bottle eventually explodes onto the people that I care most about in life, I think.

So it is with wonder, joy, and a bit of apprehension that I've been reading Matthew Elliott's book Feel: The Power of Listening to Your Heart. The title itself frightens me a little! It's like I believe that if I allow myself to honestly feel emotion it will inevitably lead to disaster, pain, and embarrassment. But is that belief really true, or just something I've been conditioned to think over the years? Elliott argues that God is both rational and emotional, and having been created in His image we are also both rational and emotional. One does not rule the other - they have to learn to work in tandem - and both have to be grounded in truth. They can both be used by God and they can both be co-opted by sin. Too often as Christians, he says, we teach and act as if calm dispassion and pure emotionless rationality are ideal, ignoring all the emotion that fills the Bible and is used even to describe the actions and characteristics of God. Instead of learning to repress and control our emotions, he suggests that we learn to understand and use our emotions in the way God intended. Even negative emotions can be thought of as counselors or friends that help us see problems in our beliefs, values, and patterns of thinking.

To me, this is a really new way of thinking. It kind of scares me to think of experiencing the power of emotion without the buffer of control. But at the same time it is so freeing. Can you imagine going through life without having to continually stifle that huge part of who you are, and instead get to use that part of you to grow spiritually and glorify God? I would love that so very much.

Do I really believe that what I believe is really real?

A couple weeks ago Paul and I watched the first portion of the Truth Project and ever since then I've had the primary question from it stuck in my head. For those of you who aren't familiar with the Truth Project, it's a series of videos by Del Tackett about how the truth, particularly as revealed in the Bible, affects all areas of life. In the first video, he asks the question, "Do you really believe that what you believe is really real?" It's been bothering me ever since I saw the video. Actually, it didn't bother me much at first, but each day that goes by I seem to encounter it in my thoughts more and more frequently.

I guess the first thing it makes me wonder is what exactly I do believe. I would like to go through and really figure out what I believe and whether or not my belief in it is justified. But on top of that, especially when it comes to the things I know I believe and would hold fast to, it makes me wonder if I really believe it in the depths of my heart. If I really believed these things to be real - about the nature of God and the nature of man, at a most basic level - would my life be different than it is now? And how so? And if so, how can I make my beliefs real in a way that would impact the way I live?

I don't want to verbally claim a set of beliefs and not live them out, but I also don't want to live in a way because I think those who hold that set of beliefs should live that way. Did that make sense? I don't want to force my behavior to fit into a mold that I think it should have - I want my beliefs to be so real that they lead to changes in my behavior. And I think sometimes that those changes will be unexpected even to me. So I am going to set out to discover what I really do believe, and then I am going to endeavor to truly believe those things and to live out of them. I'm not sure exactly how to start, but hopefully I'll get somewhere even if it isn't in a very systematic way. If I can have real beliefs in a real reality (I know that sounds horribly redundant :P ), I think it will give me a lot more contentment and meaning in life. So here goes! I will let you know my thoughts along the way :)