For marriage, as indeed for life as a whole, I feel that there is one primary (though two-fold) purpose: to know God more and, being in Him, to become more like Him. Practically, what this means is that our own pleasure is not the purpose of marriage. We marry someone we love and whose company we enjoy, with whom we share similar interests, beliefs, and visions for life, and with whom we expect to be able to cultivate happiness - but ultimately the end for which we ought to strive, in marriage, is most emphatically not our own personal temporal happiness or fulfillment. In a word, the purpose of marriage is sanctification.
When I was single, I noticed how many of the resources for singles focused on God's use of that time of life to draw one closer to Him - to help us learn, variously, to trust in Him more, to be content with the situations in which He places us, to deepen our faith in both large and small things, to give of ourselves wholeheartedly and passionately for His work, to develop godly character, and so on: essentially, to sanctify and refine us through the "fire" of singleness. Similarly, when I read the old classics of the Christian faith (and I mean the very old classics!), I found that most of them were written by vocational celibates (such as monks) for other vocational celibates, and singleness was praised because of its ability to be used by God for our sanctification. And I thought as a single and still think now that this is very true. God will indeed use our singleness to teach us about Him, to draw us closer to Him (often by giving us no one else to turn to), and to generally shape us into the person He desires us to become.
But what all those messages left out, and what I felt seemed to be missing in most of the marriage resources I was given when Paul and I were approaching our wedding, was that God continues this sanctification process in marriage. Just as He will use the unique challenges and opportunities presented by singleness to grow our character and deepen our relationship with Him, so He will use the unique challenges and opportunities presented by marriage. The situations will be different, and the ways in which He will change us will very likely be different, but the overarching purpose will be the same: our sanctification. God desires to make us holy, so that we can be with Him in joy and glory instead of fear and condemnation, and in this life He is working out in us through the Spirit the righteousness that He gave us in Christ. Whether we are single or married, He will use the circumstances in which we find ourselves to transform us for our good and His glory.
I must admit that I wouldn't have thought of this idea of marriage as a means for sanctification unless I had read it in a book given to us by an older couple I knew in college, titled Sacred Marriage. But this book is the only one that has even mentioned, much less developed, the idea, and I think it is important for those of us who are married and thinking about getting married. It should give us cause to examine our motivation for marriage in the first place - are we seeking marriage to obtain physical pleasure, emotional security, or companionship, or are we seeking it because we feel God is leading us in that direction and has a purpose for it in our walk with Him? Once married, it should inform the priorities that we create in our relationship with our spouse: do we use them for our own pleasure (whether blatantly or through more subtle hinting and manipulation), or do we strive to put his or her needs first, even when that entails self-denial? Do we see their weaknesses as insufferable flaws, or do we learn to show them (consistently and constantly) the same grace that God shows us? Do we try to ground our identity on their approval and on our perception of their love for us, or do we find our meaning and worth in Christ and from that established and secure identity begin to truly love our spouse without a continual search for their validation? Do we expect our marriage to be perfect, and fix blame and condemnation on either our spouse or ourselves when struggles arise, or do we expect those struggles and learn to work through them together, edified and strengthened by the grace of God?
Essentially, the question to ask in marriage (and maybe in any venture of life) is whether I am making any given choice for the glory of God and out of my new life in Christ, or whether I am making that choice for my own convenience - to obtain my own desires - and out of my old life enslaved to sin. If throughout each day I consciously strive to take the former path, I will be employing marriage for its intended purpose in my life: my sanctification. But if I fail to be vigilant and intentional, if I choose not to seek God in those situations that marriage has brought upon me, I will throwing away those golden opportunities God would like to use to draw me to Him. By His grace, I hope that my marriage to Paul will truly be a means for both of us to learn to walk more closely with our Lord, and grow in our knowledge of Him and in the fruit we bear in our lives.
Showing posts with label Paul. Show all posts
Showing posts with label Paul. Show all posts
Tuesday, February 28, 2012
Thursday, December 15, 2011
A good man
A good man is a marvelous thing.
He is the one who is there for you in strength when you feel like the world is spinning too fast around you and you just can't hold up anymore and you break down in front of him and your ruined pride burns in your chest like the tears burn in your eyes, and he is there simply holding you, standing as a wall between you and the crazy storm of life, giving you space to heal, letting you hide yourself in him, bearing your burdens until the moment passes and you can take them up again, renewed and restored by his love.
He is the one who never seems to judge you when you stumble or you fail, but helps you stand up again and encourages and inspires you to live a better life and persevere in following God by his example and his words.
He is the one who never gives up, though his heart is bowed down with discouragement; he endures through the trials and uncertainties of life with steadfast faith in his God, and works as hard as he must to fulfill his responsibilities and honor the God he serves. And he does this without boasting of his efforts and his labors, in that pure humility that comes of centering his thoughts and feelings on the truth.
He is the one who leads his wife with wisdom and strength, who lets her know through his actions and attitude that he can be trusted, that he can and will make decisions when they need to be made, that he will provide for her, and that he is worthy of her respect and adoration. He is also the one who loves his wife with gentleness and passion, who lets her know that she is wanted and desired by him, who cares for her heart with tenderness matching in intensity the strength with which he leads her, and who claims her as being very much his woman and his alone.
He is the one who deliberately each day stands alert against the things that tempt him away from following God, and chooses to set aside temporal pleasures if need be to make time to pray and meditate on the Word. Like a sentry he stands guard against all that threatens to destroy him and the ones he loves, and, with the strength of God in his right hand and the shield of faith in his left, he will not let those things erode the heart and foundation of all that is truly important to him.
He is the one in whom his wife can safely place her heart, secure and confident in his love and in his strength.
When a good man gives himself like this to a woman, how can she not desire to give to him all that she is and has to give? Then, in the mutual giving and receiving, the two grow ever more into one, and love deepens, and God is honored. It is my great hope and aspiration that I might respond in such a way to the man I am married to, who is a very good man indeed.
He is the one who is there for you in strength when you feel like the world is spinning too fast around you and you just can't hold up anymore and you break down in front of him and your ruined pride burns in your chest like the tears burn in your eyes, and he is there simply holding you, standing as a wall between you and the crazy storm of life, giving you space to heal, letting you hide yourself in him, bearing your burdens until the moment passes and you can take them up again, renewed and restored by his love.
He is the one who never seems to judge you when you stumble or you fail, but helps you stand up again and encourages and inspires you to live a better life and persevere in following God by his example and his words.
He is the one who never gives up, though his heart is bowed down with discouragement; he endures through the trials and uncertainties of life with steadfast faith in his God, and works as hard as he must to fulfill his responsibilities and honor the God he serves. And he does this without boasting of his efforts and his labors, in that pure humility that comes of centering his thoughts and feelings on the truth.
He is the one who leads his wife with wisdom and strength, who lets her know through his actions and attitude that he can be trusted, that he can and will make decisions when they need to be made, that he will provide for her, and that he is worthy of her respect and adoration. He is also the one who loves his wife with gentleness and passion, who lets her know that she is wanted and desired by him, who cares for her heart with tenderness matching in intensity the strength with which he leads her, and who claims her as being very much his woman and his alone.
He is the one who deliberately each day stands alert against the things that tempt him away from following God, and chooses to set aside temporal pleasures if need be to make time to pray and meditate on the Word. Like a sentry he stands guard against all that threatens to destroy him and the ones he loves, and, with the strength of God in his right hand and the shield of faith in his left, he will not let those things erode the heart and foundation of all that is truly important to him.
He is the one in whom his wife can safely place her heart, secure and confident in his love and in his strength.
When a good man gives himself like this to a woman, how can she not desire to give to him all that she is and has to give? Then, in the mutual giving and receiving, the two grow ever more into one, and love deepens, and God is honored. It is my great hope and aspiration that I might respond in such a way to the man I am married to, who is a very good man indeed.
Monday, November 7, 2011
A burden or a blessing?
On Friday, Paul flew to Memphis for an interview for physical therapy school. Unfortunately, his flight left at 5:30 in the morning, which with the state of security meant that we needed to leave the house at 4:00. On Thursday, I was telling people at work about this and one woman (who is married and had coincidentally driven her husband to an early morning flight earlier in the week) responded with, "oh, and I suppose he expects you to take him to the airport, right?"
The next day, after I dropped Paul off, I went straight in to work (early in, early out!) and one of the maintenance guys saw me about 6:00 and asked why I was there so early. When I told him about Paul's flight, his whole face lit up with this big grin and he said, "oh, so you got to drive him there!" It was so sweet.
Anyway, it was primarily the contrast between the two responses that stood out to me. On the one hand, the service is seen as something grudgingly performed out of a sense of duty because my husband actually expected me to do something out of the ordinary for him (I don't know if the woman from my work really thinks of it this way; it is just the impression I got from her response. She is quite a nice lady from what I can see). On the other hand, the service was seen almost as a privilege - something special that I got to do for my husband whom I love.
Before I talked to these two people, I hadn't thought about why I was driving Paul to the airport. He needed someone to drive him, and who better than me? But I can tell you now what reason I would rather have to do any similar act of service that comes my way! Instead of viewing it as a chore and a burden, I want to see it as a blessing and a joy, as a way to show Paul how much I truly love him.
The next day, after I dropped Paul off, I went straight in to work (early in, early out!) and one of the maintenance guys saw me about 6:00 and asked why I was there so early. When I told him about Paul's flight, his whole face lit up with this big grin and he said, "oh, so you got to drive him there!" It was so sweet.
Anyway, it was primarily the contrast between the two responses that stood out to me. On the one hand, the service is seen as something grudgingly performed out of a sense of duty because my husband actually expected me to do something out of the ordinary for him (I don't know if the woman from my work really thinks of it this way; it is just the impression I got from her response. She is quite a nice lady from what I can see). On the other hand, the service was seen almost as a privilege - something special that I got to do for my husband whom I love.
Before I talked to these two people, I hadn't thought about why I was driving Paul to the airport. He needed someone to drive him, and who better than me? But I can tell you now what reason I would rather have to do any similar act of service that comes my way! Instead of viewing it as a chore and a burden, I want to see it as a blessing and a joy, as a way to show Paul how much I truly love him.
Tuesday, October 25, 2011
The wonder of all loves
This is love: that after a weekend of being physically and emotionally miserable, unable to give much time or energy to Paul or to the house, I got to come home from work Monday to hugs and kisses and an evening spent together (being relatively nerdy and watching WWII documentaries!). His love for me comes from his heart, where the Spirit of God dwells, and so he loves me regardless of how well I am loving him in return. That is true love, because it is like God's love.
This is love: that after years of taking out all our sorrows and frustrations on Him in anger and bitterness - after lifetimes spent ignoring His voice and spitting on His extended hand of grace and goodness - after countless times of turning away, shutting Him out, closing our ears and our eyes and our hearts - we can still come home to His embrace, to bask in His presence where there is peace and joy beyond compare and, most of all, Himself, God with us. His love is utterly unconditional, pouring down upon us regardless of how often we sin or how frequently we fall away. If only we would turn and see it - like a girl turning east to suddenly see (and marvel how she had not turned before!) the sun rising in a swirl of color and cloud, in splendor and hope - we could lose ourselves in the wonder of its beauty and the glory of its power. That is true love, because it is God's love.
Thank You for this love that knocks me down and carries me away in gratitude and awe, Lord - that stretches the bounds of my mind, that sinks lower and rises higher than I can comprehend, and that never ever leaves me! And thank You for the loves that illuminate Your love by being like it and stemming from it, that help me to understand Your love more completely, and fill my heart with gladness and peace. You are great, O Lord, and Your gifts to us in our lowliness and weakness are more great and good than my heart or my mind can fully grasp.
This is love: that after years of taking out all our sorrows and frustrations on Him in anger and bitterness - after lifetimes spent ignoring His voice and spitting on His extended hand of grace and goodness - after countless times of turning away, shutting Him out, closing our ears and our eyes and our hearts - we can still come home to His embrace, to bask in His presence where there is peace and joy beyond compare and, most of all, Himself, God with us. His love is utterly unconditional, pouring down upon us regardless of how often we sin or how frequently we fall away. If only we would turn and see it - like a girl turning east to suddenly see (and marvel how she had not turned before!) the sun rising in a swirl of color and cloud, in splendor and hope - we could lose ourselves in the wonder of its beauty and the glory of its power. That is true love, because it is God's love.
Thank You for this love that knocks me down and carries me away in gratitude and awe, Lord - that stretches the bounds of my mind, that sinks lower and rises higher than I can comprehend, and that never ever leaves me! And thank You for the loves that illuminate Your love by being like it and stemming from it, that help me to understand Your love more completely, and fill my heart with gladness and peace. You are great, O Lord, and Your gifts to us in our lowliness and weakness are more great and good than my heart or my mind can fully grasp.
Monday, October 24, 2011
When the road ahead is hidden
In my ideal world I would know what I wanted to do with my life, have a plan for accomplishing it, and be happily embarked upon said plan (I also wouldn't have this little cut on my finger that makes typing so uncomfortable, but I digress...). My goal would involve serving God, having a family, and making a difference in individual lives and in society as a whole, and all of this would be neatly packaged into one coherent vision and dream for my future.
In the real world, I don't even have the first little piece of this down.
It's been a great cause of stress and anxiety these past few weeks, as Paul's plans and hopes are becoming a lot more solid and the prospect of real change in our lives is starting to loom on the horizon. It is very likely that I will only be working at my current job until the middle or end of this summer, and after that I'll have to decide what to do with myself. Do I find another similar job in whatever city we move to for Paul's physical therapy program? Do I pursue a master's degree in a related field? Or do I drastically change things in my life and find a job or obtain a higher degree in a different field, maybe something involving ministry? What would I enjoy more? What would be better in the long run? What would be the right path to choose? I've been terrified of making the wrong choice - but I've defined that "wrong choice" in such a way that I'm not sure if any choice could be right! After all, how do I make a career or education choice now if I don't have a clear vision for the future?
In the midst of this whirlpool of questions and worries and doubts, a thought came to me. Maybe, since I don't have a clear vision for the future, I need to find out what is best for the present time. Maybe instead of wondering where I'd like to be in 10 years, and centering my life around that goal I ought to consider the circumstances in which God has placed me now and in the near foreseeable future and endeavor to determine what course would be best in those circumstances. I'm not in any way suggesting that I be irresponsible about the future - I'm just thinking that because I have a lack of vision for myself I should look at the things God has given me to see now, choose based on what I can and do know, and let God deal with the future.
Another thought that came to me as I thought and prayed about these things was that while I don't have a definite vision or dream for my future, Paul does have a vision for his future. He knows the career he is called to, and he is actively pursuing it. Maybe as his wife - as the person intended by God to be his supporter and encourager - I can work for the fulfillment of his dream. Not having a dream of my own right now may be the perfect opportunity for me to help Paul reach his. In the cold light of worldly practicality that might seem like too high of a risk. Why should I work for the next few years instead of immediately pursuing higher education, just to make it easier for Paul to get his degree? What if he leaves, or something happens to him? Well, he won't leave. That worry can be set aside. But it is true that something could happen to him. You know what, though? Love takes risks. That particular risk might not be the one I take; my plans are still completely unsettled. Just because it is risky, though, doesn't mean it might not be the best choice, at this time, for me.
Through all of this, I am starting to learn that life has chapters. All the joy doesn't come at one time, leaving the rest to be a preparation or a letdown. The good of a higher degree could come next year, or in ten years, or in twenty; the good of investing in my husband by working while he gets his degree might be the joy of this chapter instead. And whenever the good does come, and whatever the good may be in this particular chapter, what matters is that I am following God and loving the people He has put into my life. With this plan to guide every little step each day, it is ok that I don't have a clear vision for my overall and long-term future right now (although I still would very much like one!). My ideal world, however, where I know the direction I should go and how everything will work together, must be set aside in favor of the real world if I am to keep following God; if He does not reveal the road more than a step at a time, my duty (and my joy!) is to take the step that is revealed and trust Him to show me the next one, not to endlessly delay until the whole course is made plain. I will be faithful in the small steps I take in the fog, trusting Him to lead me on the path He has chosen for me, and who know what joys await me on that road?
In the real world, I don't even have the first little piece of this down.
It's been a great cause of stress and anxiety these past few weeks, as Paul's plans and hopes are becoming a lot more solid and the prospect of real change in our lives is starting to loom on the horizon. It is very likely that I will only be working at my current job until the middle or end of this summer, and after that I'll have to decide what to do with myself. Do I find another similar job in whatever city we move to for Paul's physical therapy program? Do I pursue a master's degree in a related field? Or do I drastically change things in my life and find a job or obtain a higher degree in a different field, maybe something involving ministry? What would I enjoy more? What would be better in the long run? What would be the right path to choose? I've been terrified of making the wrong choice - but I've defined that "wrong choice" in such a way that I'm not sure if any choice could be right! After all, how do I make a career or education choice now if I don't have a clear vision for the future?
In the midst of this whirlpool of questions and worries and doubts, a thought came to me. Maybe, since I don't have a clear vision for the future, I need to find out what is best for the present time. Maybe instead of wondering where I'd like to be in 10 years, and centering my life around that goal I ought to consider the circumstances in which God has placed me now and in the near foreseeable future and endeavor to determine what course would be best in those circumstances. I'm not in any way suggesting that I be irresponsible about the future - I'm just thinking that because I have a lack of vision for myself I should look at the things God has given me to see now, choose based on what I can and do know, and let God deal with the future.
Another thought that came to me as I thought and prayed about these things was that while I don't have a definite vision or dream for my future, Paul does have a vision for his future. He knows the career he is called to, and he is actively pursuing it. Maybe as his wife - as the person intended by God to be his supporter and encourager - I can work for the fulfillment of his dream. Not having a dream of my own right now may be the perfect opportunity for me to help Paul reach his. In the cold light of worldly practicality that might seem like too high of a risk. Why should I work for the next few years instead of immediately pursuing higher education, just to make it easier for Paul to get his degree? What if he leaves, or something happens to him? Well, he won't leave. That worry can be set aside. But it is true that something could happen to him. You know what, though? Love takes risks. That particular risk might not be the one I take; my plans are still completely unsettled. Just because it is risky, though, doesn't mean it might not be the best choice, at this time, for me.
Through all of this, I am starting to learn that life has chapters. All the joy doesn't come at one time, leaving the rest to be a preparation or a letdown. The good of a higher degree could come next year, or in ten years, or in twenty; the good of investing in my husband by working while he gets his degree might be the joy of this chapter instead. And whenever the good does come, and whatever the good may be in this particular chapter, what matters is that I am following God and loving the people He has put into my life. With this plan to guide every little step each day, it is ok that I don't have a clear vision for my overall and long-term future right now (although I still would very much like one!). My ideal world, however, where I know the direction I should go and how everything will work together, must be set aside in favor of the real world if I am to keep following God; if He does not reveal the road more than a step at a time, my duty (and my joy!) is to take the step that is revealed and trust Him to show me the next one, not to endlessly delay until the whole course is made plain. I will be faithful in the small steps I take in the fog, trusting Him to lead me on the path He has chosen for me, and who know what joys await me on that road?
Wednesday, September 28, 2011
Four Months!
That's right, I've been married to my Paul four months today! And I am so glad that I get to be married to such a wonderful man :)
Anyway, from this lofty vantage point and exceeding amount of experience, here are some thoughts on marriage in general as seen through the lens of this one particular marriage that I'm a part of:
- Marriage forces a person to open their eyes to their own weaknesses and shortcomings. When you are constantly living with someone, and you want this person to think well of you and love you, and you want to show them that you love and adore them as well, you're demanding a lot of your sin-burdened self! Because no matter how hard you try, you're not going to be perfect all the time! It just isn't possible! And since there is so much increased desire to be perfect, for the sake of the person you love and sometimes maybe out of fear that they'll stop loving you, every little mistake is going to feel like an insurmountable failure, and if you're anything like me you'll become quite a mess :P But eventually out of that emotional mess you'll start to see where your real weaknesses are, and you'll learn how to work on them with the grace of God and the help of the Spirit. That is a good place to be :)
- Marriage can help you learn how to trust God as well as another fallible human being (or, it can turn you into an anxious wreck; it's really up to you). As a single, I would look into my future and worry about all the unknowns ahead, and now that I'm married I realize that those unknowns have not just doubled when Paul was added into the picture - they have increased exponentially! If I let myself, I could be completely consumed by those worries. Since they're a bit much for me to worry about and still go on with daily life, though, it's made me take them to God in prayer, and try to trust Him with those worries, and also try to trust Paul with the worries that are more specifically related to him (usually unfounded worries about our relationship - I worry easily). In essence, by making the burden of anxiety greater, marriage has been instrumental in teaching me to trust and find peace in that trust.
- Marriage can be a wellspring of joy filling and overflowing your heart into all that you do :) Learning how to serve, love, and be loved by another person translates into learning how to serve, love, and be loved by God more fully and completely (at least for me), and both of those bring incredible joy to a person's life. There is a sense of belonging, of purpose, and of security that is indescribably valuable to someone like me, and sometimes when I think that I get to be married to this amazing godly man I can hardly contain my excitement! If I'm at home and no one's around to see me, sometimes I'll jump up and down ridiculously because of it :P
- Marriage is all about learning and growing! What seemed like an earth-shattering problem two months ago is passed and almost forgotten today, and I'm sure that issues I've never even thought of will someday loom ominously in our life - but as we keep growing in our knowledge of and love for God and each other, I know that we can overcome them as well. And my hope is that it will keep being so awesomely fun in addition to all these wonderful deeper things! Because my husband is pretty much my favorite person in the world to spend time with, and no one can make me laugh like he can, and I don't want this to be just a "newlywed thing" that passes with time. When we're old I still want to be inseparable, and to find him my best companion and dearest friend :)
What do you think, those of you who are more experienced in this area than myself? I'm sure I am still pretty clueless about marriage, and I would love to hear other people's wisdom and insight :)
Anyway, from this lofty vantage point and exceeding amount of experience, here are some thoughts on marriage in general as seen through the lens of this one particular marriage that I'm a part of:
- Marriage forces a person to open their eyes to their own weaknesses and shortcomings. When you are constantly living with someone, and you want this person to think well of you and love you, and you want to show them that you love and adore them as well, you're demanding a lot of your sin-burdened self! Because no matter how hard you try, you're not going to be perfect all the time! It just isn't possible! And since there is so much increased desire to be perfect, for the sake of the person you love and sometimes maybe out of fear that they'll stop loving you, every little mistake is going to feel like an insurmountable failure, and if you're anything like me you'll become quite a mess :P But eventually out of that emotional mess you'll start to see where your real weaknesses are, and you'll learn how to work on them with the grace of God and the help of the Spirit. That is a good place to be :)
- Marriage can help you learn how to trust God as well as another fallible human being (or, it can turn you into an anxious wreck; it's really up to you). As a single, I would look into my future and worry about all the unknowns ahead, and now that I'm married I realize that those unknowns have not just doubled when Paul was added into the picture - they have increased exponentially! If I let myself, I could be completely consumed by those worries. Since they're a bit much for me to worry about and still go on with daily life, though, it's made me take them to God in prayer, and try to trust Him with those worries, and also try to trust Paul with the worries that are more specifically related to him (usually unfounded worries about our relationship - I worry easily). In essence, by making the burden of anxiety greater, marriage has been instrumental in teaching me to trust and find peace in that trust.
- Marriage can be a wellspring of joy filling and overflowing your heart into all that you do :) Learning how to serve, love, and be loved by another person translates into learning how to serve, love, and be loved by God more fully and completely (at least for me), and both of those bring incredible joy to a person's life. There is a sense of belonging, of purpose, and of security that is indescribably valuable to someone like me, and sometimes when I think that I get to be married to this amazing godly man I can hardly contain my excitement! If I'm at home and no one's around to see me, sometimes I'll jump up and down ridiculously because of it :P
- Marriage is all about learning and growing! What seemed like an earth-shattering problem two months ago is passed and almost forgotten today, and I'm sure that issues I've never even thought of will someday loom ominously in our life - but as we keep growing in our knowledge of and love for God and each other, I know that we can overcome them as well. And my hope is that it will keep being so awesomely fun in addition to all these wonderful deeper things! Because my husband is pretty much my favorite person in the world to spend time with, and no one can make me laugh like he can, and I don't want this to be just a "newlywed thing" that passes with time. When we're old I still want to be inseparable, and to find him my best companion and dearest friend :)
What do you think, those of you who are more experienced in this area than myself? I'm sure I am still pretty clueless about marriage, and I would love to hear other people's wisdom and insight :)
Friday, August 12, 2011
Apologies and a small thought :)
I'm sorry I haven't posted as much this week! Paul and I are in the process of moving, and work has been hectic as well, so I haven't had much time to think or write. But I am so glad we finally have our own little place to settle in to :) We've put some stuff into place as we brought it to the apartment but in general it is still boxed and chaotic, so I'm definitely looking forward to unpacking this weekend. Paul (being in the National Guard) has drill this weekend, so it will be just me, and while I'll miss him, I'm kind of looking forward to being able to get everything set up just the way I like it, all by myself. It will be so nice to have a clean, organized, beautiful place of our own! The problem will then become keeping it that way... but I am going to be committed to keeping it nice because I know it will help our home be more peaceful and welcoming for ourselves and for friends who might want to visit.
On that note, I suppose I have been thinking about the importance of the home this week. I've noticed that when the home is cluttered or dirty (for me, clutter is worse), it becomes a less restful and inviting place, and I'm more likely to want to be somewhere else. When things are kept in their proper place, and the whole place is clean, it draws me in and makes me want to be there sharing life with others. On top of just order and cleanliness, when the house is made beautiful in little ordinary ways (like uses of color, and candles, and pictures, for example), it becomes even more enjoyable to be in. Finally, I've decided that this task of keeping the home ordered and beautiful is far more suited to women (in general) than to men. Or maybe it's just me, I don't know. But I believe that the wife is better equipped to make a home worth living in than the husband is, although he may be quite good at aspects of it and should be quite good at extending his assistance, just as - in general again - I believe the husband is better equipped to go out into the world and wrestle with it to provide for and protect his home and family. The woman is the center, the heart; she nurtures the family and makes the home a place for growth and love. Complementary to this, the man is the shield and the shelter; he provides for the family and protects his home from the outside world. Together, they are ideally equipped to create and sustain a home in which children (for children are the natural end of marriage) can grow, learn, and flourish in love and assurance. We don't have children yet, but I'm thinking that this time now is the best time to learn how to make a home! I'm not the greatest at learning two major things at once, after all, so I should start on the one I can do now instead of trying to figure it out at the same time I'm learning how to be a mom :P Here's hoping I won't be discouraged when I start to fail, and will get up and keep trying!
On that note, I suppose I have been thinking about the importance of the home this week. I've noticed that when the home is cluttered or dirty (for me, clutter is worse), it becomes a less restful and inviting place, and I'm more likely to want to be somewhere else. When things are kept in their proper place, and the whole place is clean, it draws me in and makes me want to be there sharing life with others. On top of just order and cleanliness, when the house is made beautiful in little ordinary ways (like uses of color, and candles, and pictures, for example), it becomes even more enjoyable to be in. Finally, I've decided that this task of keeping the home ordered and beautiful is far more suited to women (in general) than to men. Or maybe it's just me, I don't know. But I believe that the wife is better equipped to make a home worth living in than the husband is, although he may be quite good at aspects of it and should be quite good at extending his assistance, just as - in general again - I believe the husband is better equipped to go out into the world and wrestle with it to provide for and protect his home and family. The woman is the center, the heart; she nurtures the family and makes the home a place for growth and love. Complementary to this, the man is the shield and the shelter; he provides for the family and protects his home from the outside world. Together, they are ideally equipped to create and sustain a home in which children (for children are the natural end of marriage) can grow, learn, and flourish in love and assurance. We don't have children yet, but I'm thinking that this time now is the best time to learn how to make a home! I'm not the greatest at learning two major things at once, after all, so I should start on the one I can do now instead of trying to figure it out at the same time I'm learning how to be a mom :P Here's hoping I won't be discouraged when I start to fail, and will get up and keep trying!
Friday, July 29, 2011
Sunshine and rain
I am Paul's sunshine, and he is my rain. And together we bring forth the spirit of our marriage, the beauty of our togetherness, which is our rainbow.
While an analogy like this could quite easily refer to children, this one represents the more intangible products of our love and commitment to each other (time, and the observation of those outside our relationship, will reveal what those products are. I don't know how clearly the sun or the rain can perceive the rainbow they create). Together, we are more than the bare sum of our individual personalities and skills - we create something new, just like the rain and the sun together produce a rainbow. Both are wonderful on their own; both are needed on their own. But together, they make something which is also wonderful, and which brings joy to the heart and beauty to the world.
My hope is that Paul and I, through our marriage, can also bring wonder and beauty to the world around us.
Monday, July 18, 2011
A small illustration of Paul's awesomeness
Last Wednesday, Paul and I made separate plans for the afternoon and evening. His plan was to go up to his parents' house to pick up the things he needed for guard duty that weekend, and then get a haircut; my plan was to go to my doctor's appointment and then stop by Walgreens to refill my thyroid medicine.
So I was coming out of the store with my medicine and only to find, to my dismay, that my car wouldn't start. I turned the key and it beeped a little but nothing else happened. On top of that, my cellphone was dead so I couldn't call my parents to come jump the car for me (Paul would have been too far away anyway). Fortunately (I am so thankful that God arranged the timing of everything this way, which is a story in itself), a lady driving through the parking lot saw me pop my hood open and asked if I needed a jump :) So I was able to get home, but because I was so worn out and not thinking very clearly, I didn't drive around long enough to recharge the battery and my car promptly died again as soon as I parked it and turned it off.
But at least I was home! I plugged in my phone, called Paul, and proceeded to unload the whole story of my day upon him, to make sure that he would have jumper cables to start my car up in the morning so I could get to work. And you know what? After his haircut and after driving all the way back from his parents' house, he went to AutoZone, confirmed the death of my battery, bought me a new one, and installed in my car for me! He didn't complain about having to run an errand for me, even though it was pretty late at night and he'd been out all day, and he didn't procrastinate at all about getting my car fixed, because he cared about me so much and wanted to make sure I would be able to get home again from work the next day.
Isn't he wonderful? I am so blessed to have such a caring and servant-hearted husband :)
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