A path to lasting joy

When someone serves you thoughtfully and lovingly, it can really make you feel awesome! For instance, when I got home from work yesterday and was relaxing for a minute on the couch while baking cake after dinner (I tend to make my evenings as busy at home as my days are busy away from home), Paul casually rubbed my foot and it felt so good. I hadn't realized how tense and sore my feet and legs were! But you know what was even better? When I mentioned how good that little rub made me feel, he got all excited and asked if he could rub my feet! Oh my goodness that was nice. It was a kind and thoughtful act performed in a way that made me feel special to him instead of a burden on him (serving with a poor attitude can make the person you're helping feel worse than if you'd done nothing, unfortunately), and it filled up my heart with gratitude and love. But if I came home every night and expected Paul to serve me, without doing or even desiring to do anything for him out of my love for him, that joy I feel in receiving his love would soon fade and wither away. Joy and self-centeredness cannot coexist. Pleasure can survive for a while longer, but even that eventually dies under the scorching sun of selfishness, and in time the one served comes to look upon the one loving and serving with contempt (unless by God's grace the hardened heart is softened enough to begin to love in return). So I find that in giving myself and my time and my energy to Paul - to try to serve him and love him thoughtfully, gently, and reverently - not thinking of what I might gain but of how I might pour over him the fullness of my love for him - a spring of joy starts up in my own soul. By choosing to make another's happiness my goal, even though I do it stumbling like a child learning to walk, I find more true happiness and joy for myself than if I had pursued my own wellbeing with all the passion and strength I could muster. It's interesting how that works, isn't it? When we follow the commands of God - to consider others better than ourselves, to look out for their needs, or to imitate Jesus in our relationships with other people (and remember, He washed His disciples' feet!) - we end up with more joy and peace and fulfillment than when we try to forge our own paths to obtain those things! Now let's see if I can remember this the next time I'm in the middle of a conflict between doing what I know is best, to show love for someone else, and doing what makes me feel comfortable and happy in the moment...