When a person does something kind for another person, and does it genuinely intending to be kind, there are two main motivating reasons: first, they are doing it out of love for the other person; second, they are doing it in hopes that the other person will love them. At least, these are the two contrasting motivations I have seen in my own life, as I go about trying to do things for others and for God, and I like to think that I'm not the only person with this struggle :) Sometimes, selfless acts and encouraging words spring up from a heart full of God's love and eager to pass it on; other times, I force those acts and words up from a desperately dry and empty heart yearning to be filled by another's love. If I am secure in the belief that I am loved by God no matter what - that I don't need to strive to be righteous to merit His love or to keep it from fading away - then it is far easier to genuinely love others and act towards them not just in the right way, but with the right heart and attitude. It allows me to gain the confidence I need to show love to other people out of genuine love (growing ever more like God's love, hopefully) instead of in a self-centered attempt to win their love in return.
The difference between serving someone out of love for them and serving them in hopes of earning their love is incredibly vast. In the first there is joy, confidence, and inner peace; in the second there is loneliness, a pervading sense of unworthiness, and constant fear. I feel like this is a very basic concept that I am only now fully starting to experientially understand :P But now that I am beginning to grasp it, and to see the fullness of life that comes from living out of God's love, that is what I am going to try to do. Instead of thinking, "I ought to make supper so Paul will keep loving me" (as a rather simple example), I can think "I love Paul! And I have this opportunity to bless him by making him supper!" However, that capacity to love another person and have that love be the foundation of my actions toward them can only come from God, from walking close to Him through every part of every day, from drinking in His word and constantly turning to Him in prayer. This is probably why I have so much trouble with it - I am trying to manufacture love on my own instead of channeling it through my heart from the overflowing spring of God's love. So here's to relying on God, right? :) He is our strength, as the Psalms are continually reminding us, and if we build our lives on Him He will not let us down.
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