Nearsightedness

Finally, after at least six months of delay, I took myself over to the opthamologist's office this morning to get my glasses repaired. I ended up having to schedule an appointment for an eye exam and will get an entirely new set of lenses and frames because my current frames are irreparable, but that's beside the point. The point is that for a brief period of time my glasses were not with me but were in the hands of another person in another room where I couldn't see them or have access to them. Effectually, I was rendered rather blind for this period of time! I am extremely near-sighted and even with my good eye I can't see clearly more than six inches in front of my face (my bad eye is significantly worse).

When my vision is that bad and I don't have my glasses, I find myself actually feeling afraid, even when I know where I am and there is nothing threatening in the environment (my opthamologist's office is a very quiet and peaceful place). If I let myself, I'll even start breathing more quickly than normal, and I tend to hold on to something near me, like a table or counter, and keep my eyes focused on something close enough to see clearly. It is, at least for me, a rather stressful experience.

I noticed an analogy in it today, though. Maybe (I thought as I tried to keep my mind off my inability to see what was going on around me) my spiritual and emotional fears have a similar root cause. That is, maybe I am afraid of things like failure and rejection because my spiritual eyes have become nearsighted and I'm not using my glasses (the glasses of prayer and time spent with God in His word) to help me clearly see the bigger picture of His plan and the things of eternity. Honestly, I think that if I were able to more completely follow Paul's injunction in Colossians to "set [my] mind on things above, not on things on the earth", I would have far fewer fears in life. Maybe I wouldn't be so afraid of the people I love rejecting me, because I would be more assured of the unconditional and sufficient love of Christ holding me up through all trials and sorrows. Maybe I wouldn't be so afraid of failing in little everyday things (like cooking a good meal) because I would be more confident in the knowledge that I am perfect before God through the righteousness of His Son.

And maybe, if I weren't so filled with fears, I would be able to think of and reach out to other people more, because I wouldn't need to work so hard at protecting myself - and that would be a very good thing indeed.