More on trusting

I had to call my endocrinologist again today, because they never called me back about my prescription refill, and tomorrow is my last pill at the correct dosage (I have a small stock of sample packs that I would need to take 1 1/2 of each day, that the doctor once gave me when they had no samples at my dosage). It's not fun being hypothyroid, and there's a lot I could worry about, as I posted earlier. But I've been making it my goal to trust God with this whole situation, and I've asked Him to help me with that trust (because I know that if I simply try in my own strength, I'm going to end up full of worry and anxiety all over again) - and you know what? I am trusting Him. For once I can say that as a statement of fact rather than as something I know I ought to be doing and don't want anyone to know that I'm struggling with.

If I don't have thyroid pills for the next month, it'll be ok. Why? Because it is all in God's hands, and if He brings all my efforts to nothing, it is His will that I go through that month without medicine. I don't know why, but I know that He does. And I trust Him to be doing what is best.

Looking at people all over the world in all kinds of different situations makes me realize how small of a thing my problem really is, and how really learning how to trust God with it is like the little faltering steps of a baby compared to the strong strides of those who have truly learned to trust God in the most painful, difficult, horrific or seemingly irrational situations. But for me, it is a big thing. And it is super encouraging! See, I look at it this way: if I can trust God with this - if I can really truly honestly believe that it is all in His hands and whichever way it works out is under His control - then I can trust God with anything! I can trust Him with leading us to the right school for graduate study, and with giving me clarity and direction for my future. I can trust Him with the financial aspects of paying for PT school for Paul and a master's for me, and I can trust Him with the timing of the children we want to have. I can trust Him with the classes I'm taking this semester, and with the relationships I'm building with people around me. I can trust Him with my marriage, and I can trust Him with my family, and I can trust Him with the little things like deciding where to spend which holidays. It is incredibly liberating! That burden of anxiety has been lifted from my shoulders by the strong and loving hands of my Lord, and I am so very thankful.