Monday, October 10, 2011

Trust and thyroid hormones

Almost three years ago my thyroid started to peter out. For months I was always exhausted and continually running a low-grade fever, prone to catch every small cold floating around, and losing weight (I think I lost 15 pounds in all, in less than 6 months) because I was too tired to eat. It took a while to figure out what was wrong with me, since fever is not a common symptom of a thyroid problem but was the main reason why my mom was able to convince me to go to the doctor at all, but eventually all was made clear and for over two years now I've had to take a little purple pill every morning to keep my body functioning well with the proper amount of thyroid hormone. It's a bit of a hassle, and I periodically have to go back to the doctor to have blood drawn so they can evaluate the hormone levels and give me a prescription to last until the next appointment. So... at my last appointment in February, they told me they were going to switch me from 6 months between visits to a year between visits, because I'm pretty stable, but unfortunately, as I discovered a few weeks ago, I don't have enough refills prescribed to get me through to February. Actually, not counting the random sample packs I've collected over the years, which are running low anyways, I have until Friday. This is very stressful for me! I tried calling the office last Monday, when I realized the problem, but they never called me back, and today I left my phone at home so I suppose I'll have to call again tomorrow instead of today. I am a worrier at the best of times, and it is so easy for me to imagine all kinds of worst-case scenarios, where they can't get me in for weeks and I'm left without any medicine and start crashing again, ending up barely able to make it through work and class, completely worn out by the time I get home each day (thus having no energy for making dinner, or cleaning the house, or spending time with Paul). But I'm thinking that maybe God let me and the doctors fall into this oversight for a reason. Maybe He wants me to learn to trust Him more, you know? If I am trusting only myself, and relying only on my own strength, I have every reason to worry right now because it doesn't look like things will work out in the right timing. But if I am trusting God and relying on His strength, knowing that He has everything in His hands, then I can have faith that things will work out in exactly the timing that He desires, according to His good purpose, and I don't need to worry. It's hard for me not to worry, but I do believe that I have a sovereign, loving, faithful Lord who cares even about these little details of my life! So I can trust Him even when I can't see how everything will turn out :)

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