I've been reading several very interesting articles (and books) lately that discuss, either tangentially or as the main argument, the specific moral dilemmas that revolve around family and marriage. They're especially interesting to me since those issues have become much more personally relevant in the past two months than they were before! Anyway, as I write about them, I'll try not to come across as preachy or obnoxious, because I realize that people have a lot of disagreement about some of these things, and I don't want to make anyone upset, especially if I'm spouting off some half-thought-through idea that is heading the wrong direction :) I will be honest about what I think and where I am now, though, so hopefully it won't come across as if I'm attacking anyone who thinks differently than I do.
The first issue that caught my attention, less than a month after our marriage, was the potential for birth control pills (hormonal contraceptives in general, as well as IUDs) to cause early abortions by preventing implantation of the embryo. Ideally, the pill prevents ovulation, so there is no egg to be fertilized and no embryo to worry about. As a back-up, it thickens the cervical mucous, making it more difficult for sperm to swim up to meet an egg that might be there if ovulation did occur (it is unknown exactly how often ovulation occurs in women taking contraceptives, because it is somewhat difficult to track, but the undeniable fact that women taking oral contraceptives will sometimes still become pregnant is proof that ovulation can occur, and that sperm can make it through the inhospitable mucous to reach that waiting egg). I knew those things before I started taking the pill, and I was fine with them. I was only thinking about how convenient it would be! However, the third function of the pill (publicly labeled as such, so I really had no excuse for my ignorance) is to prevent the uterus from preparing for a pregnancy - the lining is kept thin, with the network of glands and ducts unprepared for implantation - so that if ovulation occurs and an egg is fertilized, that embryo will not be able to implant and no pregnancy will take place. The embryo will die.
A common response to this dilemma is to protest that many such early abortions take place naturally - it is thought that about half of all embryos fail to implant, and a significant percentage of those that do miscarry very early on in the pregnancy, often before the woman even realizes she is pregnant - so why should we worry about the very rare case that an embryo is created while taking the pill and fails to implant? It may not have implanted anyway, after all. The difference, however, is that while taking the pill you (or I) are actively doing something to prevent pregnancy, knowing that it could entail the death of the early embryo. That's more ethically problematic than if it is happening without your knowledge, desire, or interfering action. By your action in the situation, you become morally responsible for the result.
For these reasons (as well as some less coherent issues that I'll try to discuss in Part 2 of this series), I stopped taking the pill a month ago. I do miss some of the benefits that come with taking it, but I think it's worth it to deal with some inconvenience in the pursuit of doing what is right and pleasing to God. As a disclaimer, I do want to say that there are reasons to take the pill besides birth control - I have heard it can help regulate certain conditions such as PCOS and can be especially helpful for women who have significant pain associated with their menstrual cycle - and for women who have these other reasons, the choice of whether or not to take the pill will not be so straightforward as it was for me. All I know is that my conscience was uneasy, and so it was the better choice, in my desire to honor God, to no longer use oral contraceptives.
If you want to read a very good post/article about the topic (which is well-written with sensitivity and from a very personal perspective), check out this post by my friend Diana: Thoughts on the Pill. Her post was actually one of the first things I read that led me to wonder if something was wrong and I should stop taking the pill, but it is written in a very non-confrontational way so it is a good introduction to the topic, and she has some good and interesting thoughts.
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