Sin and sanctification

There's a part of me that values worldly prestige and esteem - part of me that wants to have a job that looks good to the people around me, and that wants my husband to also have such a job, so that people will look up to us and value us for our success in meeting these very worldly priorities. It was this part of me, a couple years ago, that was happy when Paul decided to pursue physical therapy instead of teaching, because medical professions carry quite a bit of esteem in this white-collar, upper-middle class system of rating. It is this part of me that wants a higher degree (particularly a PhD!), just so that I can be more respected according to those same rankings. And while I don't think this is a very large part of me, it is certainly there: a desire to build my life around temporal pursuits in the hope of winning the approval and esteem of people who generally don't even share my worldview and values, and a thirst for the acclaim and admiration of created beings rather than the Creator, over fleeting rather than eternal things. In essence, that part of me has fallen for the lies and temptations of the world, and wants to chase after that tantalizing golden apples it proffers instead of keeping to the course and running for "the goal of the prize of the upward call of God in Christ Jesus" (Phil. 3:14).

What concerns me is that I wasn't even aware of this desire until very recently, when a chance conversation brought it into glaring relief. Before then, if you had talked to me about the issue, I wouldn't have said that I valued that esteem or that I thought a white-collar job more worthy or meaningful than a blue-collar job (or that I ranked careers even within those categories); I would have told you that what mattered to me was honoring God with one's life and following Him on whatever path He chose, whether that included worldly riches and acclaim or material poverty and social scorn. But secretly, inside me, the desire for acclaim - the hidden pride, to give it its true name - was influencing my decisions, my thoughts about life, and my attitudes toward different options, while I remained largely ignorant of its existence and strength. It makes me wonder what other sinful attitudes, what other misaligned priorities, are hiding inside my heart!

What's encouraging, though, is that God did bring it to my attention eventually. If we knew all of our sinful traits and desires at once, it would probably be so overwhelming that we would despair of ever overcoming them! Instead, then, God works at our hearts slowly, gradually bringing our sins to light and conforming us to His image. He does want us to be perfect, with a great and terrible perfection mirroring His own unassailable holiness, but as He leads us to that place He guides and shapes us with loving, gentle hands. So a new realization of sin, or an increased awareness of the patterns and attitudes of our minds and hearts that are not in accordance with God, is not a reason for despair; rather, it is a reason for gratitude and increased trust in God's grace, because it is evidence of His Spirit's work of sanctification advancing forward into more areas of our life. As He brings the dark things in our hearts into the light of His truth, we can be assured that He will also bring them to defeat and destruction according to the same power by which He rose from the grave!

So it gives me hope that God is pointing out this hidden pride and desire for the world's esteem in my heart. It is not a good thing for it to be there; if left untouched and allowed to infiltrate into the foundations of my life and identity, it would center my heart on temporal and perishable things, draw me away from deeper knowledge, obedience and love of God, and disable much of my potential for serving and witnessing for God in this life. That is what any sin will do, given the opportunity, and this particular sin is one that attempts to attach one's love and vision to the world instead of to eternity. But it is a chance for me to experience and find joy in the grace and sanctifying power of God. By grace He brings sin to light; by grace He continues to love us despite that sin; by grace He enables us to find victory over that sin, even if it is only for moments at first; and by His great power He will someday present us to Himself fully perfect, completely purified from that sin and all other sins, blameless and holy before Him in love.