Discouragement and grace

It is so easy for me to become discouraged when I sin, especially when I watch myself continue in a sinful attitude or course of action in the very moment of realizing its sinfulness. If I was a good Christian, I think - if I really loved and followed God - I wouldn't be thinking or feeling or acting this way. So the fact that I sin, and do so despite the inner promptings of the Spirit and my conscience, must mean that I'm not a very good Christian at all.

But what does it mean to be a "good Christian" in the first place? After all, a Christian is one who has acknowledged his own sinfulness and utter inability to love and obey God, and who has thrown himself unreservedly on the completely undeserved grace that God offers. Our whole faith centers around this key truth: that God has redeemed us out of His own great love and mercy, not because of our merit and righteousness. Our whole concept of self-identity is founded in this statement: that we are sinners saved by grace. If we are saved by grace, it is only rational to expect that we ought to continue in grace, right? So a truly "good Christian" would be one who lives in God's grace, not expecting to achieve perfection by his own efforts, and thus not descending to the depths of despair and discouragement every time those efforts fail. In other words, it is my response to my sin even more than the sin itself that is important to my faith and the continued growth of my relationship with God.

This was brought home to me (after an evening and morning of discouragement at my own feeble attempts to live righteously) by an article I happened to stumble upon over at Ligonier Ministries (I didn't even know they had articles on their website! I now have a new treasure trove to go through!). To quote briefly:

We must resist the temptation of thinking we can stand in our own strength. We must depend on the grace of the One who said, “Apart from me you can do nothing” (John 15:5). If we fall, we must go to Christ, confessing our sin and hoping in His mercy. The Scriptures declare: “The righteous falls seven times and rises again” (Prov. 24:16). To fall seven times means that you have been restored six. The greatest believers are subject to great weaknesses.

It's brilliant, that line: "To fall seven times means that you have been restored six." We shouldn't expect to be able to walk without falling, because our own strength has always come up short. But we should strive to live by grace, to get up and press forward once more after each and every fall, knowing that our Lord is our strength. He will restore us and raise us up - will we try again to follow Him, or will we simmer in our self-disappointment and refuse to accept the grace He offers day by day?