Not knowing

My sister brought up a really good question Wednesday morning when I was talking with her briefly online. Well, she didn't actually pose it as a question in so many words, but it was a train of thought that had no conclusion, which is essentially a question :)

Basically, she wondered how it was possible to have a relationship with God when there is so much we don't know about Him. As in, how can she get up in the morning and have a conversation with Him when she's been up late into the night wondering about His very nature and character?

That's a hard question. But I want to turn it around. How can she hope to learn more about His nature and character if she doesn't get up and have a conversation with Him? If that seems harsh, think about what it would be like if God were just another human being. You could stay up all night with your mutual friends discussing His character and nature - wondering whether He is trustworthy, whether or not He loves people, whether or not He is merciful or just, and so on - but if none of you are really sure, or you all have different opinions, than honestly the best way to get to know what He is like is to interact with Him.

I wouldn't have married Paul if I'd just heard about him and talked about him with other people. Yes, a lot of them would have said wonderful things about his nature and character, but I wouldn't have been convinced that they were true unless I had spent time with him personally, getting to know his heart and being able to observe his love, compassion, and wisdom in action. I think it's similar with God. I have to interact with Him and get to know Him personally to grow in my certainty that He is who He claims He is in the Bible: a good God, a righteous God, a God of love and mercy and grace, who is infallibly faithful and true. And as my personal relationship with Him grows, so does my confidence in His character and nature. No skeptic's question could shake me now, because I know Him so deeply and thus trust Him without reservation, just as I know Paul so deeply and trust him so much that no one could make me question his faithfulness to me (it wasn't always this way with either God or Paul - trust - which is faith - takes time to grow).

It was the collective mound of evidence that led me to start wanting to get to know God intellectually, and the hope of peace and love that led me to start wanting to know Him emotionally, but now that I know Him it is He Himself that keeps me wanting to know Him more. My faith is grounded in reason and a search for truth, and can provide a reason for itself, but it is centered on personally knowing God and His love. And so while discussing and debating His attributes is a very good thing to do - it sharpens my mind, challenges my faith, and opens my eyes to truths I'm missing or lies I've believed - the only sure way to get to know Him is to spend time with Him like I would spend time with anyone I wanted to get to know more deeply.