The Pursuit of Happiness

The dilemma before us is not whether an individual has the right to pursue their own happiness, but whether they have the right to pursue that happiness at the expense of the well-being of other people; that is, is every road permissible, or are some barricaded for the good of society and the protection of the innocent?

Here is a practical example of what I mean (based loosely on a real story). A woman (let's call her "H") has been with her current husband, "M," for about 10 years. They've been married for 8 of those years, and have 3 children together. But "H" is starting to become tired of the situation. Life has been a hard grind for her the past few years - they've drifted in and out of unemployment and homelessness - and she doesn't see much hope for the future. Honestly, she hasn't been happy in a long, long time, and she's thinking about leaving. Her husband is a nice guy, sure, but she wants more. If the right man appeared, he would seem like a bright light at the end of the dark tunnel she imagines stretching into the years before her - he would seem like a ticket to happiness.

If divorce would truly make "H" happy, does she have the right to take that option, even though "M" had never actually done anything wrong? Does she have the right to hurt him simply for the sake of her personal happiness? If they were dating I would say yes; after she has vowed to stay with him for life and he has built his life around that commitment, I would say no. She has burnt that bridge; she has blocked that road. She is still free to pursue happiness, but not by those means. And what about their children? Does she have the right, in the pursuit of her own pleasure, to split apart their family and destroy their security, to set them up for poverty and broken relationships in their own futures? As their mother, is there some duty that constrains the avenues she is allowed to travel in the pursuit of happiness?

Society suffers when personal happiness is elevated above moral duties and relational responsibilities, because personal happiness is not a strong enough glue to hold families and communities together. It is widely acknowledged that in order to accomplish something wonderful it is sometimes necessary to sacrifice something incredibly valuable; what is not so widely recognized is that it is sometimes also necessary to make that sacrifice in the simple attempt to be a decent human being and fulfill one's duties. And because the task and the goal can seem so mundane - so trivial and ordinary - the sacrifice can be even harder. There is no glamor or glory attached to it, and the dreams of happiness one must surrender sparkle so beautifully (and deceptively) in one's imagination. But when one thinks of the broken hearts and homes that an unbridled pursuit of personal happiness leaves in its wake, it is clear that these duties are not trivial and these sacrifices are not pointless.

So yes, we have the right to pursue happiness, but we do not have the right to pursue happiness with whatever means we choose. Our past choices narrow our future options; our moral obligations further establish the set of paths on which we may travel. But this limiting is what gives strength to the fabric of civilization - and if we work to create happiness on the paths we walk, whatever they may be, that limiting has also given strength of character to our souls.