Tonight I finished listening (for the second time this week) to Focus on the Family's truly excellent radio drama of the life of Dietrich Bonhoeffer, which closes with a quote from one of his letters from prison:
"It is only by living completely in this world that one learns to live by faith. One must completely abandon any attempt to make something of oneself, whether it be saint, or converted sinner, or churchman, a righteous man, or an unrighteous one, a sick man, or a healthy one. By this-worldliness I mean living unreservedly in life's duties, problems, successes and failures, experiences, and perplexities. In so doing, we throw ourselves completely into the arms of God, taking seriously not our own sufferings, but those of God in the world, watching with Christ in Gethsamene. That, I think, is faith. That is how one becomes a man and a Christian." - Bonhoeffer, Letters from Prison
Listening to the account of his committed faith in the face of doubt, opposition, and the fear of torture and death, I was deeply challenged. I like to think that I serve God well - that I strive to love and follow Him, that I desire to seek and obey Him - but my faith is nothing compared to the faith of men and women like Dietrich Bonhoeffer. So many trivial and insignificant things even in this good life I have now make me anxious or afraid! How could I hope to have the faith and the courage needed to live out of trust in God like he did, when I am beset by fears here and now? If trials come to the Christians in America like they to the Christians in 1930's Germany, will I be one who lives in integrity and faith, or will I be like the countless people who submitted to and participated in evil because of fear? If I one day have the privilege of ministering for the gospel in a third-world country, will I be able to hold my witness boldly and without compromise if there is persecution or opposition?
Looking at Bonhoeffer's quote, I think my course of action is clear. Here and now, I must live as God has called me to live. When fear rises in my heart, whether the cause is significant or trivial, I must take that fear to Christ and move on trusting Him. I must not let those fears dictate the extent of my obedience to Christ. And I must embrace any suffering, however great or however small, that He sends into my life, because He sends it for my sanctification, that through learning to trust Him in those sufferings my faith might increase and I might know Him more. This means being disciplined and vigilant in my walk with God and in all the daily details of my life, to endeavor to perform those details according to His will and for His glory, instead of according to my plans and to glorify myself. If I want to do great things for God and truly honor Him with my life, then I can't just sit back, go my own way, do my own things, and expect for it all to somehow just happen. I have to press into Him, to push forward, to aim upward, to seek Him in everything I do - and as Bonhoeffer pointed out, to do so in the midst of the problems, successes, and failures of this life (as opposed to some ideal life that I might picture in my head).
When some people think of pursuing God whole-heartedly - and of this pursuit being an important and even essential part of the Christian faith - they worry about legalism. Somehow striving to obey God must mean that you're trusting in that obedience to earn you God's favor and salvation, in their minds. I suggest that it might rather be a response to God's love and grace and a result of seeing God in His power and glory. If He is truly our God - our Lord, our Master, our King and Creator - then oughtn't we obey His commands? If, on top of that, He has redeemed us from death and loved us unconditionally through our sin, rebellion, and disbelief, don't you think that rationally we owe Him our very lives? When all we have is from Him, how can we hold it back for ourselves instead of giving it up to Him? This is not legalism; this is living as child of God. Grace does not excuse our sin; rather, it enables us to live righteously.
May we walk, then, in the grace that is from God and in faith in Him, in whatever He brings to our lives. Doing this now, when life is relatively easy, prepares our hearts to follow in faith when life becomes much harder, and brings glory to the Lord we love.
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